How To Handle Cheating In a Relationship
Published on September 10th, 2014 | by Joan Makai
No marriage is perfect but finding out that your partner is cheating on you is something no sane person would want to experience. You entered into a relationship with your hopes high but neither your foresight nor your idealism could prevent something like infidelity to happen. As things go beyond your control it is important that you know how to handle infidelity in a relationship and hopefully save your marriage and your sanity.
If you’re a cheated partner, your first instinct is to get angry and probably cause as much pain to your partner as he has caused you. You’re probably plotting a scheme to get even, thinking that revenge could lessen the pain you’re feeling. You may have slayed your spouse and his paramour one thousand times over on your mind. That’s normal. As you’re as human as your next door neighbor, all the pain and plotting of revenge are typical. You should understand however that no amount of getting even could actually make you even. In fact, your actions in the heat of the moment could potentially make the matters worse.
Coping with the Initial Shock
So you found out he is unfaithful. What to do? Are you going to confront him? Hurt him by throwing things to his face. End the relationship permanently. Murder him in his sleep. If you think your mind is being clouded by hurt the best thing to do is get a breather. Pack some of your things and leave for a while.If you think you are too unstable to confront your partner, leaving for a few days or weeks could give you enough time to sort things through. Go into a retreat with your trusted friends but never leave alone. As you are feeling too emotional at this time it is important that you have trusted people around you.
Deciding when and how to spit things out
You can’t delay the inevitable. As much as you want to, you need to get pass through the pain and confront your spouse. As there is no easy way to confront unfaithful partner you should be ready emotionally to talk about the issue. If you think you are ready to face your spouse without breaking down, have a serious heart to heart talk to finally settle your problem. Confront your partner and bring up all your whys but do this in a civilized manner in a private place. Do not shout, nag or get hysterical as these usually make the problem worse.
Do not bring other people in
In a relationship especially if there is a cheating spouse, what has happened to you may have happened to your friend or sister too but everyone deals with the situation differently. You can take advice from family and friends but you should not let their differing opinions cloud your judgment. As no two people are alike, it is important to know that some of their experiences may not work for you. Remember that you and your partner are the ones that are directly affected by the infidelity and you should do your best to resolve the issues within your household without bringing other people in. Of course the situation will be different if neither you nor your partner is willing to settle the problem that has damaged your relationship.